Olive Garden Just Announced Its Most Cringeworthy Pasta Dish Yet
Olive Garden is a classy establishment, not the fever dream of your drunk uncle.
Olive Garden is the restaurant where everyone goes to after eighth grade graduations and other mildly important events.
It's nice enough for some things, but not anything that's actually important. As a reaction to several negative reviews, including a 235 slide Powerpoint presentation about how Olive Garden doesn't even try to make their food taste good because they don't salt the water in any of their pasta dishes.
Overcoming negativity is tough, so Olive Garden tried to appeal to millennials with their two favorite foods. No, not with Nutella and alcohol. They're bribing us with cheese and bacon in the form of spaghetti pie.
I'm sorry, this is faux-fancy Olive Garden, right? Not my drunk uncle trying to make something after a long bro-session with Jack Daniels?
Basically, they cook the pasta, chop it into smaller pieces and toss it with a ton of cheese and pancetta. Then the "pie" is baked in a flaky crust with even more cheese on top.
This sounds like a bad idea that Dad comes up with when there's too much leftover spaghetti.
The real-life pies look like they're falling apart, kind of like the life of whoever thought this pie was a good idea.
The new dish is part of the "Spaghet-Together" campaign to get more people having spaghetti family dinners at Olive Garden.
Going to eat spaghetti at Olive Garden as opposed to literally making it at home for a faster, cheaper and tastier meal. I can have my own Spaghet-together, thank you very much.
The other pie flavor is "Meatball Deep Dish Spaghetti Pie," which touts 7 Italian cheeses in addition to meatballs AND meat sauce.
It's almost like a perfect ice cream scoop of a meatball, but the polished image is a disappointing trick when compared to the real thing.
Not to be salty, but the pie itself doesn't look cheesy at all. It looks like when overcooked spaghetti congeals together.
Maybe that's why this is a special, because Olive Garden is world renowned for overcooking pasta. It's decreasing food waste but WHERE is the bacon? If I'm going to be bribed into eating something because it has bacon, the bacon should be visible.
In news of other things no one asked for, Olive Garden is also releasing breadstick sandwiches.
t's interesting that Olive Garden won't improve their current, poorly reviewed sandwiches, but they're going to throw new ones at people in the hopes that they breadsticks will incite an Italian-fusion revolution. Basically another late night frat-boy invention for a restaurant that claims to have a "Tuscan Cooking School."
The breadstick sandwiches come in four flavors: Spicy Calabrian Chicken, Eggplant Parmigiana, Italian Meatball and Chicken Parmigiana.
The sandwiches, which are already falling apart because breadsticks are not good bricks for sandwich building, come with a side of garlic fries (which are overpowering the dish to make people forget how underwhelming the sandwich is).
Most importantly, these pie slices are some of the unhealthiest options Olive Garden has put out since the failed "Italian Pot Pies".
People don't exactly plan on eating like Gwyneth Paltrow when going to Olive Garden, BUT one slice of Deep Dish Spaghetti Pie has 1500 calories and over 900 calories from fat. Why eat this when there are so many foods that are unhealthy but will taste a thousand times better? Deep dish pizza, for example, has half the carbs and all of the flavor of these "authentic" spaghetti pies. Or literally drive to Missouri and have unlimited McDonald's fries.